Letter To Sara...from doniele

happy easter everyone

Letter To Sara...from doniele

Where do i even begin.. it always seems easier to picture what your going to write in your head then actually writing it... i feel like i had all these things to say to you like you dont already know.. im sure you are watching down over me, well now "us", i guess if you believe in that sort of thing.. and really i dont, except of course when it comes to you.. i dont like to think that you are actually gone.. its so funny how they say "it takes time" and "time heals all wounds.. well thats a bunch of bs, to be honest i still feel the same as if your funeral was yesterday.. almost responsible.. though i know if i am to blame for anything it might be that i wasn't there when you truly needed me.. you were just too young to die.. and the worst part about it is, the scary part is that i was right down in those trenches with you and yet i am still here.. i am still living.. and even after ur passing u would think that i would have cherished life a little bit more but no, i continued to throw it away... it took me awhile to pull myself out of it.. it took me meeting the "right" person to take a step back and reevaluate my life.. and yet it still took time for me to even let go of my selfish ways to actually let myself be truly happy.. i guess it really can't always be about you if you want to have a truly healthy relationship.. and then after all that i came out with a beautiful baby girl- absolutly perfect.. can u believe? me of all people? a mom? im still in shock, it definately took a few days to actually hit me.. it was wierd, so many emotions, doubts, i was almost scared.. i mean they really dont make manuals.. i cant just look this up on the net.. but the only thing that i do believe is true though which has been my saving grace is that they weren't lieing when they say that it comes natural.. that motherly instinct just kicks in.. i mean i thought with "papa bear" already having two kids would leave me in the dust when it came to being a parent but its completely opposite which is very reassuring.. but overall its fun being a new mom.. and believe me i hated!! being pregnant!! but it was worth the wait and even the pain made it worth it... now i might not go rushing off to get pregnant again anytime soon but maybe someday... oh and ladies when someone tries to tell you that its a breeze and it doesn't hurt ha thats a damn lie!! and thats with the epidural, that might help with the contractions but when it comes time to push, count your blessings!! ..so i guess for now though baby starr will keep me pretty occupied im sure, i already feel that there is not enough hours in the day.. i mean by the time i get her fed and situated its almost like its time to do it all over again!! and since i have been off work i have been trying to work online mainly to keep myself busy and from going insane!! and making a little extra money is always nice :) ok sara, love, enough for now.. much love..miss and thinking about u daily...doniele

here today....gone tomorrow....

brooklin starr

she's finally here....and all is perfect...she's perfect...mama bear is perfect...papa bear is perfect....and the disney/humphrey household is so
very happy to welcome their baby bear....we will post some pics soon and keep
everyone updated on her journey...